*Looking down at my prev post* whoa... it has certainly been quite some time since I last updated my blog.
But perhaps cos it is now more... secluded(ULU) that I dared to type more truths in here. hahaha!
Anyway... on friday,5th march, we've finally gotten back our long waited A level result.
Some cried due to relieve... while some cried due to disappointment.
But there is some (if u know who) who cried and said they're disappointed but in actual fact, they scored so much better than the majority. But whatever. I'm so gna heck care.
Well... I scored quite badly, and was quite disappointed.
To be truthful, this is the first time that I cried when taking back my result.
When I took my O'levels result, I was relieved. When I took my PSLE result, I was relieved as well.
But oh wells.
When it was my turn to take my result slip, my teacher held my slip to her chest and asked me a question, "Have you thought of what course you wanted to go in university?"
This was the question.
At that time, hopes filled me. Cos her question was like telling me that I've many choices that I can choose from. And I thought that she was sorta hinting me to slowly choose and carefully choose from those many choices that will be available to me.
I shook my head and answered no.
Then, she said, "You'd better think about it carefully."
My heart started to race... and I panicked.
She returned me the slip and the first subject that I glanced was Economics (the subject I've bee constantly worrying about) and I smiled.
I've gotten a C for econs!! HURRAY.
and I hurriedly scanned for the rest.
CCC (for all my H2)
I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't happy either.
Then, i saw a word that was longer than the others under the grade column.
'UNGRADED'
That's for my GP.
It was like... in that instant, my whole world crumpled.
All hope vanished.
Seriously.
At that point of time, I was like... lost for what to do.
It felt surreal and I wished that it was just a dream but it wasn't.
My teacher comforted me that even if I failed GP, i can still be accepted into University. Just that I would have to take an extra english module conditionally.
After much ponders, I've decided on what I should do.
First, apply to retain in college and at the same time, apply to University. Once I've been offered a place in University, I'll accept the offer and apply out of college.
This is, by far, the most safeproof plan.
But at the thought of... there MIGHT be a possiblity that I will have to retake A levels, my confidence plummeted.
But I knowww... there's nothing else I could do.
If worst come to worst, all I will have to do is to retake my A levels and this time, DO MUCH BETTER.
No more failings.
No more Cs.
HAIS!
I felt so apologetic towards both my parents.
Even after I've got my lousy results, they consoled me... supported me.
This made me even more guilty than I already am.
I've always wanted them to have a daughter they could be proud of...
Yeahhhh.
It was really a very tough period for me for the past few days...
Dilemna... disappointment...frustration...
I could hardly remember laughing out wholeheartedly anymoree.
And I seriously DON'T KNOW why my mood is damn wretched nowadays, and I seriously hate that.
FML,T (fuck my life, temporarily)- new abreviation created by me, COPYRIGHTED.
pple who wan kope come ask me first ah!
hahahah.
But aiyaaa! i think my mood will be lightened up soon enough(:
Ahhh.. I really hope nobody is reading this post....
Just wna vent my ... frustrations thats all.
hahahaha.
P.S: 38s, JIAYOUS! (:
Thanks my dearrrrr blogg.
BYEBYE.
See you.
Labels: dilemna
